How do you deal with a cheating boyfriend?

Jun 22, 2023 | 1 comment

You can check out how do you deal with a cheating boyfriend on a free advice column online like this one!

There are several things you can do.The first thing that you must do, no matter what, is face facts. Be sure of your facts and acknowledge them. Don’t start telling yourself that maybe it was not his fault or maybe all these people who are talking about him are wrong or making it up just because it makes you feel better to give him the benefit of the doubt or sweep it under the carpet. You can fall for this stuff about how sorry they are and they promise not to do it again – it would make you gullible – but many do – or you can get angry, shout, swear, raise the roof, make a big fuss, tell everyone what a low life he is and throw him out. Or you could discuss it rationally where he gets out of it by saying what you want to hear even though none of it is true or he changes his mind when he sees a good looking girl a few days later.

There are a lot of romance, relationship and love forums you can use to ask a question such as how to deal with a cheating boyfriend.  You can post your question or problem and allow their caring readers – some wise some not – to give you free opinions and advice.  Of course there are two snags with this, one is that people might not bother to reply to you, some prefer to post problems and never try to help others, or your particular problem does not appeal to them, or it could take a long time before someone posts.  But the quality of the replies you get – if you get any – might not be particularly helpful. The people who read and reply to you might not be good at sorting out and making decisions about their own life, so they can hardly be good at helping you to work out how to deal with a cheating boyfriend.

Ask yourself if this is a small thing or a big thing. If you have only been seeing him a short time, do not live together, have a good job and friends, a great family, then realise this is not that big a matter and you can solve it quickly and easily. If you are living with the guy, buying a property or renting together, perhaps you have a child or children, no job, no money and no support then you need to take this far more seriously. But this does not mean that you let him behave anyway he wants or ask him to change instead of changing the situation yourself. Remember that a guy who is happy with his behaviour has no reason to change, he may promise he will but it is doubtful he will, and you may find that he says one thing and does another. Even if he starts to behave like a normal and loyal boyfriend how would you know this for a fact and be able to trust him? You may always be wondering about where he is and who is is with.

Another way to deal with it is to think long and hard about whether or not you want to rush into things and give it more time and mull it over properly before you make any decisions. In the meantime you could insist he stays away while you calm down and decide things, he may have to just stay away or move out as he is the one in the wrong, unless you have been doing it too, and he may get annoyed about that or try to talk you out of it because he has nowhere to go or does not want to spend money on going elsewhere. But why should he have all of these options and choices when he did wrong? The nicer you are about it the more likely it is that he does it all again. Because you have shown him that you are a push over and he can get out of paying the price for his actions. You may shout and rave but that’s a small price to pay for being caught. And there we go again with something else, maybe you caught him this once, but there were other times before, or maybe he flirted and tried it on before but was snubbed by the women he tried it on with, that does not make him loyal or nice. That makes him someone who tried and tried and eventually succeeded. After all lots of women won’t go with guys in relationships so he would get turned down by lots of women just for that.

Other options include chatting to someone who can listen and help – maybe a minister, maybe a counsellor, perhaps a clairvoyant, maybe a life coach or relationship expert, maybe one of the online agony aunts. Maybe a whole bunch of people would line up eager to listen and maybe give advice too. But let us look at those options…

Counselling and therapy often take a long time. Not ideal if you need to know how to deal with a cheating boyfriend. If you are unlucky and get one who has been trained but clueless they will want to hear all about your childhood and parents which may take a few sessions before you move on to the bits that matter. In the meantime things have got worse for you and your situation, a situation which was quite urgent. You need to deal with this quicker and why would you want to spend $100 once a month or so for ages anyway, for something deep and intense maybe, but this also insinuates that somehow you are the one who has a problem and should change, when he is the one who misbehaves and should be different.

Someone who is well sorted mentally, rational, would be able to sit down and work out for themselves how to deal with a cheating boyfriend.  But a lot of women get dramatic and tend to want to just go over and over what he did, what he did not do, what he said and how he should be rather than how to change things and make them better.

The psychic would get to it straight away in your first visit and should make a good job of it, but they will fall back on advice given half a chance and many of them are not experienced or qualified or skilled at doing readings anyway, they tend to be more like bored housewives on an ego trip or short of money rather than someone who can help. Unless you can find a properly experienced clairvoyant stay away. There are the others, the ones who are free, family, friends, but most of them have no idea and have had problems like this themselves where they were clueless about how to handle it, so what chance have they got of giving you good advice? If they are single because they were cheated on and dumped even more so. A good life coach would be able to teach you how to deal with a cheating boyfriend but the life coach is often not properly qualified, many have paid for a certificate which anyone can buy. The relationship is often the same unless you go to one who has been on television or written books, the expensive ones who often refuse to do one to one clients, it is just not worth it for them. And there is the holistic new age healer, someone who is going to understand and not judge but who maybe too forgiving and liberal. Lastly why not go to a spiritualist who claims to do online psychic readings. They may get it and at least it is cheap and quick.

One of the biggest problems I’ve noticed when dealing with a woman who needs to learn how to deal with a cheating boyfriend is that the woman becomes her own worst enemy. Constantly looking for excuses for his behaviour, blaming herself or waiting for him to become nice and change into a totally different person – which will never happen. She can waste a great deal of time on this. Instead of reacting in a sensible way to his behaviour they resort to forgiving and trying harder to make him happy, as though rewarding him for being a nasty piece of ****. All this does is tell him that he can carry on anyway he wants and you she will take more of the same until he gets tired of it all and he ends it with her.

Ultimately there are a thousand ways to handle how you deal with a cheating boyfriend, none are right for everyone and it all depends on your circumstances and character. Some are quick to judge and happy to be alone others would cling on to a nasty, selfish piece of scum as if he is the only man in the World. Believe me I’ve seen that happen many, many times. These are usually the ones who come running to me each time he upsets them, lets them down or lies to them again and again, never seeing that the only way that can stop is if they stop being with him. How do you deal with a cheating boyfriend.


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