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[Sticky] How do I get this Woman to say Yes to me?

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I am fit and healthy, very spritely and active, my wife is a boring woman who does not talk to me much and does not want to do much with me whether that is going out, seeing friends and family or sex. I've put up with this for many years for the sake of the children. She has no hobbies and spends much of her time watching television, baking, cooking and housework. You can imagine how boring this is for me now that I have retired and want some fun!!  

There is a lady at the golf club that I chat to when I go there for regular meets. She is all the things my wife is not. Slim, attractive, sexy, wonderful laugh, caring, intelligent, lots of hobbies and interests, young and vibrant.  I would like to ask her out and make her an offer - in private - not when we are there and others can hear.  I am willing to pay her a certain small sum of money each month if in return she will be there for me when my sexual appetite needs to be satiated.  She would only need to do this a few times a week. I would never be able to stay all night, it would just be for a few hours or so a time. I would not be able to take her out on "dates" as I cannot risk my wife finding out about all this.  

At the moment this young woman is seeing a man who goes to the golf club, he is about the same age as her, single, and they are talking about marriage. This is very irritating to me as I want her, and want her all to myself. How do I go about getting this woman and getting rid of this man in her life? How do I convince her that she is better off seeing me and should be there for me?

Also, if she decides that she does not want this with me and does not understand how well suited we are how do I make sure she does not tell the others at the golf club? I would hate it if there was bad feeling and she spread nasty lies about me round the club?

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I had a chuckle as I read your agony aunt letter. You say you are fit, yet you must be at least sixty, so not as fit as her young man . You offer her two sessions of sex a week, both just a few hours, with an old man and talk as if this is some incredible deal she must snap up and be grateful for. Surely she would prefer the young man who is single and offering her marriage and a full life rather than just a few hours of sex and an old man, someone who hides her away out of sight and lies about knowing her?

You talk as if she is a prostitute! I will pay her a small sum is like a business deal. I will give her this and she will give me that. But you want to decide it all with her having no say. With a normal business deal both parties say what they want and what they offer. AND I would be amazed if a woman who  already has a man and is young would settle for replacing him with a man who only wants her for sex part time, especially a married one and especially one who is focused on how it has to be cheap. Not very nice to talk about her like that.

When you talk about her getting rid of this young man I laughed and laughed.  You are married. You have no right to demand that you are the only man in her life. Especially when all you offer is a little bit of sex and a tiny bit of money!  She would be perfectly within her rights to be married or seeing as many men as she wants and sell sex too. One has nothing to do with the other. Plenty of prostitutes are married, it has nothing to do with their customers/clients. I very much doubt most of their clients care or that she would waste time sharing details of her private life with them.

Maybe you have paid prostitutes for sex in the past and it hurt your pocket, but who cares? If she wants to sell sex I am sure she can do a lot better than selling it cheap to old married men.

You need to rethink your strategy and make it more focused on what she wants not all about you as if you are some great prize. I bet she already knows plenty of men, maybe at the golf club, who would jump at the chance of going to  hers for sex if it's cheap - men who are single and younger and nicer than you. So where would you fit in?

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What planet are you on I see no reason why this woman would have any interest in you. You write as if she is a prostitute which she clearly isnt she is in a relationship and you are probably 30 years older, you are living in a fantasy world go back to playing with yourself.

uglyoldspinster 02/08/2023 8:10 am

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Fit and healthy eh? So how come your wife is not interested in sex with you and no other woman you know - even the very old ones who cannot get someone young want you? Is this true or just how you like to see it? I don't know any gorgeous young woman who would settle for a guy who is only offering them sex, who only offers it part time when it suits him, is married or very old, but you want it all, every single one of these negative things is what you offer and nothing positive other than maybe a box of chocolates here and there if she is lucky.

My guess is you would love to get rid of your wife but make use of her to do housework because it would cost you too much to move out or separate and divorce, this is all about how you can get your jollies at the cheapest possible price, ideally no price at all, all at the expense of the women with you reaping the rewards of their stupidity given half a chance.

Perhaps this is one reason your life has not turned out well? Because you do not care about others and only look to your own point of view?

Even if this woman you want were the same age as you should could do better, there are lots of single men out there she could go with, and plenty of nicer ones who are not so selfish.

It does not seem to have occurred to you, either, that a woman who lives on her own might not like men, or might not want sex at all, perhaps she is a lesbian or she simply hates sexual relationships and all that goes with it?

It does not seem to occur to you that if she wanted sex with some married guy she could get one who pays properly per meet, not where the guy is stingy.

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Your children are probably the same age as her - have left home and grown and got jobs. So you are not with wife for the sake of the children, fibber. Probably because you don't want to split the house and live in a much smaller place if you leave. Right? That is YOUR problem not this woman's.

Why should she get rid of a decent single man who offers her a full and good life so that you can have fun and keep your home too?

I hope that you do suggest this selfish idea to her and she tells all of your "friends" at the golf club what you are really like. I promise you that if they knew what you are really like they would be disgusted that you thought it ok to offer this woman such a selfish idea.

You thought it all through from only your point of view and saw nothing of how it would be for her.

And how she could do a whole lot better.

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All you care about is money and sex. Saving money and getting sex. Ruining some young woman's life, hurting your wife, lying and all the rest all seem to come at the end of the list if you even consider them at all.

Perhaps it would be wise to get this into perspective from a woman's point of view...

Most women want love, romance, friendship and security - not just sex - and not as a mistress for limited amounts of time when it suits the other person - I bet you thought she would sit around  in between seeing you without any urges to have sex with someone else instead of waiting - or a need to go out on dates and do normal social things like eating out, cinema etc just because those things do not suit  you.

What would happen when she gets very keen on a man who offers her the whole package?

You think that offering her a little bit of money would stop that?

She already has a man offering her the whole package now and you want her to turn her back on that in return for a tiny amount of money?

I think what one of the other posters said is right. This is all about money really, not wanting to let go of your nice home or live a worse lifestyle, it's cheaper to give this woman a bit of money than it is to pay a prostitute and a lot better to pay her than to lose all that. Great for you, the pits for her. 

If she became fond of you she would miss you and get lonely. She would get sick of not being able to phone  you or be with you openly.

If she did not get fond of you she gets nothing out of it at,  she is better off selling her body to men half your age who would pay her more!

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Not impressed by the size of your tiny brain to be honest. What entitles you to decide the future of this woman simply because you want sex off of a woman who is not your wife? I imagine  your wife would not want sex with you if you paid her, and she is old like you, why would a much younger woman want you when she has a young man who is normal and treats her well?  She has no room in her life for a selfish dirty old man.  Even if you offered to be with her properly and openly she can do far better.

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Why does it have to be this woman?  You see old guys like you are all the same. You get this idea that you want sex or whatever, and then you look for a target to fulfill your dreams, you choose someone prettier, younger, nicer, and assume that because it would suit you it must suit them too. How selfish and short sighted you are. How about what is best for this woman? How is it best for this woman to be your sex toy when she can get a real man, a man who has the balls to get a divorce or who gives her a good life rather than just wanting to use her? That would mean that her checklist says he is young, single, got a lot of spare time and less selfish.

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