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How do I move on when I love her

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Hi, I am a 41 yr old male who six months ago walked out on a three year relationship with a 31 yr old female. 

I am still in love with her as I was when I left. I wasn’t able to face my emotions, show vulnerability and be completely intimate because of a deep seated fear of rejection. This has come from my abandonment in childhood. I left very suddenly and it floored her, she was devastated around the breakup, as was I, although I did feel we needed some space/time apart at the time. 

We kept in touch following the breakup as we both agreed that it felt like we were losing an incredible friendship. It has been tough for both of us. Not seeing/speaking/contacting each other. 

She recently messaged my mum around Mother’s Day, which I took as an olive branch to potentially get back together. But when I messaged her our conversation was extremely cold and she didn’t feel it was a good idea for us to meet up. I didn’t enquire as to the reason why. She’d messaged my mum without a second thought.

I wished her well and her last message was that she wouldn’t contact my family/me again. 

I feel devastated by the situation, I don’t want her to loose contact with our family or me. I’d love us to give it another try but I fear that any action now is too much for her emotionally and will ruin any chances for us in the future.

I can give this all the time it needs as I’m not interested in dating other people. However I am not getting any younger and would love a family. 

Thanks for reading this far and any advice would be appreciated. 


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