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[Solved] I am having a secret affair, with my teacher at school.

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I am having a secret affair, with my teacher at school.  Nobody knows about it and we have to meet in secret outside school and away from where I live with my parents and sister. He told me that it is not sleazy or sordid because he wants to marry me as soon as we are able to and he will make me a wonderful husband. I so long for this day.   He makes me wear sexy underwear, suspenders, basque, stockings, high heeled shoes, a lot of red lipstick, wigs etc and tells me that he will take me me to some swingers clubs where he wants me to have sex with his friends, but that I must go on the pill first to make sure there are no babies.   I am worried that he will lose interest in me and dump me if he sees a girl at school who is prettier than me. What do I do?

Anonymous 201 23/03/2024 12:30 pm

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@admin I'm sorry, I just can't get past that first line without recommending that you break this off immediately. It's horrific exploitation and a gross power imbalance. Teachers have a code of ethics that they must adhere to in schools and universities. He is in direct breach of his professional code of ethics and he would know full well it is an immediate dismissal. How can anyone respect that behaviour in a man? It will also impact the entire school's reputation, for it's not just him that will face consequences. Your teacher is a predator and you are his plaything. That is not marriage material be he knows how to spin the lines to reel you in. He should NEVER have put you in this position and as a teacher, seems to have no control over the most basic impulses to launch into affairs with students. I don't care for how this 'affair' started, it really must cease if you are to walk away with any hope of holding your head high. He is also lying to you because he has you exactly where he wants you, a person willing to entertain him through fantasy and dare I say, depravity. Decent men would never share their partner with anyone, it's just not the way men are if they love someone, and the swingers club suggestion speaks volumes that he is just exploiting you. He should be reported to the education department. You may not want to do this but really, just break it off. He doesn't love you.

9 Answers
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I am shocked 😲 

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This is not good. Hope you can cope.

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Sounds sleazy to me

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You need to bin him off

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You need to think long and hard about this man pet.  You talk as if you like him but he does not care about you. Girls often get a crush on a teacher or pop star, it is not real love, and the older person should not take advantage of them. That is what he is doing, taking advantage. Please talk to your parent(s) about this and tell them what is happening. They will not be angry with you, they are supposed to help you with these things, it is part of being a parent.

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This is not an affair! An affair is when you are sneaking around on dates and planning things together. This seems to be you just being there for him and just for sex stuff. It's not nice for you, but somehow you feel special because of it, because you are so young and naive.

This is what to do. Speak to your mother about this when you can get her to yourself alone with no interruptions. Explain to her what has been happening and do not let her interrupt or butt in. Make sure she hears you out before she speaks. Tell her that you are unsettled about this and that you need her backing with whatever. She will find it a lot easier to understand and deal with than you would or another child would.  Please understand you are a child, not a grown  up, adults are not supposed to have sex with children, it is illegal because it is wrong and  unfair on the child. Some men go to prison because of it.

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This guy would never get away with this if you were older and wiser. He is taking advantage of you big time. You will end up very hurt if you are not already. In these situations the guy goes off you when you become an adult, he only wants a child or teenager, that is why he wants you, because of your age. And to this guy it is all about the excitement of conning you and sex, nothing more. He does not dream of being your husband or being with you in twenty years' time. He is not interested in being there for you when you struggle with problems or are ill. This is all about you being there to make his life better, never the other way around.

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This seriously worries me, I am not going to hold back, it is easy to be tempted to be nice and kind and say what you want to hear. My guess is you want to hear that he loves you and wants you forever and will make a good job of taking care of you.  But none of this is the case. He is using you to make himself happy, eventually it will all go wrong, maybe this is when he tires of you and finds someone younger and more fresh, a lot of guys behave this way, they don't care too much if you are intelligent, educated, smart, nice, caring, honest, so long as you have a nice shape, unblemished skin, no imperfections and an eager body. You could be a leading nucleur scientist but if you are not gorgeous looking and young they are not keen. Most relationships go wrong eventually, some end, when you are hiding and big age gap is there it is even more difficult for it to work out right. You should move on. You can find someone else. But don't tell the next one about this one. Keep that a secret. Most men would never understand or forever be throwing it in your face.

You can hire me for a private one to one - go to the professional private register to see my fees. I always reply within one working day and take great care to be honest and helpful. Jane loves bananas.

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This is not a good thing my dear believe me. There is too much about this which is to suit him, but at your young years you cannot see, it is a pity. You must think more carefully about this with cynical suspicious eye, you would if older, you would be wiser, you would have heard and seen more from men that make you cynical and suspicious and wary. You must be thinking about this now before this spoils your life my dear. I promise you this can.

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