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[Solved] There is a guy I fancy, he has the most gorgeous deep brown eyes, but he is living with one of my friends.

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There is a guy I fancy, he has the most gorgeous deep brown eyes, but he is living with one of my friends.   They are talking about having a baby as soon as possible and are also murmuring about buying a place together and getting married.  I know that they are totally wrong for each other.  He is gorgeous and very intelligent she is ugly and stupid.   The other day I noticed him staring at me in that way men do when they think "I love you, you are the one for me" but knew he was too embarrassed to say it to me
and anyway he cannot just blurt these things out when my friend is there. I've got a strong feeling that he is planning to leave her to be with me and he is only talking about the baby, getting a place and getting married because this is what she wants and she is nagging him to.  He is a very nice guy and would feel terrible if he hurt someone or let them down.  He is the sort of guy who would never harm a fly and never be nasty on purpose.  But sometimes it is important to be honest.  At the moment he is leading her on by pretending that he loves her and wants a future with her, and this is cruel and unfair too.  She deserves to know so that she can plan a different life for herself.  How can I get him to tell her that they are over and he wants to be with me?  
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Oh dear. I sense bullshit or no brains here. He does not want you my dear. He wants this girl he lives with. The rest is you and your vivid imagination and wishful thinking. Get a guy of your own. You make a terrible friend and you would never make a good psychologist.

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Pretending that he loves her? Really? 

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I once knew a little girl who was forever dreaming of meeting a rich and handsome superstar, in her dream he would ask her to marry him and they would get married and have a lot of children, living happily ever after in a huge mansion with a lake, swimming pool, tennis court, golf course and much more. They never argued, they loved each other madly and passionately and they were loyal to each other. It sounded so wonderful when she talked about it, her face would light up and she would smile from ear to ear looking forward to this dream.  Of course, she was just a little girl then with dreams and goals and passions that would never come about. When she turned twenty she got together with a guy on drugs, he swore a lot, he picked his nose, he bullied her and took money off of her to pay for his drugs and drinking, he started to sneak around behind her back and cheat, or at least try to because he was no great catch. She was the one who went to work in a shop and paid the rent, he just took all of the time, and he was amazingly boring.  Nobody liked him.  She knew he was rotten and she knew she hated him but she stayed anyway. You see the fantasies we have as a child are fine if we remember they are only a fantasy.

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When you find out that this guy will cheat on his girlfriend to be with you do not rejoice, remember this tells you he has a rotten character and will do the same to you one day.

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He is second hand goods - nah.

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DeluxeAdvice I see what you see. Whatever this guy does now can never make things good. With so many men out there and the option of being single why bother?

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You talk as if this guy is selfish because he is not doing what you want, but you are the selfish one. Leave him to lead his life without restrictions or obligations flying from you to him. He chooses who he lives with and sees not you. Get a man who is totally single.

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Which do you prefer? To make a fool of yourself with this guy or to keep your friend? Those are, as I see it, your only two options. Choose one and go for it.

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You should feel sorry for your friend that she is blind to how horrible her man is. Suffice it to say this should be enough for you, because it is between them and you should not in anyway at all get involved with any of this, or with seeing him, even if he were dumped by her or he dumped her to see you it would all come to nothing, he is that type of guy, but when he is seeing her too it makes him someone who not care about women at all, not bothered about hurting them or lying to them, some sort of romance that would be! 

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Blind to how a man really is? What is new. I often meet women who insist their guy loves them, or will eventually, or only cheated because of, the poor women try to convince themselves that their turd of a man is really a pearl or gem.  They act as if it is illegal or miserable to be single or find a better man.

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