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In 2018 I entered into an unhealthy, abusive relationship. After a very short time I fell pregnant with our daughter. Unfortunately my family became involved and they put up with a lot of sh*t from him.. social services became involved and everything took a turn for even worse. He was at the birth of my daughter and was really supportive and I thought he was making a change for the better. As social services said we were not allowed to return with him and this made him kick off at the hospital. My family have taken a lot of stick from him and the whole situation. As did I. He went back into prison in 2020 and is still there currently due to be released next year. Fast forward to now my daughters dad is trying to make positive changes, with his emotions, anger, and getting a degree whilst his inside. I am cautious but his family have started to build a positive relationship with my daughter and he wants to be an active role in her life too. I am willing to allow him to try and be in our daughters life but again being on the side of caution, ensuring we try and remain amicable. I have not told my family as I know how strongly they feel about him and the situation. I was going to hold off from telling my family until I am sure that he has really made the changes required and going to be a positive role in my daughters life moving forward but if/when the time comes I dont know how to go about telling my family as I am worried this could be a massive issue and ruin my family unit with my sister and parents. Am I making a massive mistake anyway? And if this works for the best for my daughter how do I try and tell my family with the least negative impact possible? Really worried about this and any advice would be appreciated.
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Wow you have certainly been through a very draining and testing time. Well done for getting through that.
Its great that you are thinking about your daughter and her father's relationship. And fantastic you recognise he is making positive changes.
I understand your worries about your family's reaction and I think you could do with some support. There are organisations who can help you and have plenty of experience with these situations. They can guide you in navigating contact between your daughter, her father and his family. And also how to manage any reaction that comes from your family - which I'm sure comes from a place of caring.
Please make sure you and your daughter are safe at all times.
I wish you all the best of luck.
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