Notifications
Clear all

[Sticky] Love has Gone

5 Posts
2 Users
0 Reactions
90 Views
(@decentperson)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 197
Topic starter  

Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up! 

Loading spinner

It's so difficult when your children are so young too. It can be exhausting, and a time when you need support and connection from your serious other - if it's not there, it makes everything so much harder. But some of us use our kids as an excuse to stay too. I've seen this many times. Where people are not happy but it is easier to keep there and hope things get better, deep down we know this will never happen but it is easier to day dream about things improving than it is to up sticks and go.

I felt in no position to leave when my children were young - they are now teenagers, and I now feel stronger, and like it could be possible, but it's still not an easy decision!

You are totally normal for having the feelings you have, and I really hope things get better for you.


   
Quote
(@PeterDoesIt)
Honorable Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 197
Topic starter  

Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up! 

Loading spinner

Years ago I was married and bored and unhappy at home. I started to see my secretary on the side, it was exciting and thrilling and she made me feel young and happy. She said she hated being a bit on the side so I promised her that I would leave wife in a few years. That came back to  bite me on the bum.  She continued to see me and it was great in many ways - the sex was out of this World - she would even do stuff with me that I had never heard of before - I could not have been more happy. She would make me walk on air as a man and my wife was good at housework,cooking and so on. Life was perfect. Then bit on side started moaning a lot about how it had been more than two years and she wanted to be the only one etc. We talked about me moving in, I helped her to get a passport so we could go on a long holiday then, we sorted a lot out, but...   She suspected I did not mean it and threatened me.

She said that if I let her down after all of these promises and time and how miserable she has been she will tell my wife and make sure I get the sack at work.  I had no worries about this and ignored it.  She had a lot of proof but so what?  Eventually I told her that I could  not bring myself to leave wife and be with her full time but begged her to continue.  She said she would only continue if I made sure I spent a lot more time with her.  I rearranged my life so I could and did spend a lot of time with her and this went on for a few years. But things seemed to go stale, she stopped wanting to have sex with me and told me it was because she was sick of being a secret etc.  She was sick of the broken promises.  She did not see me as the man of her dreams anymore. She did not trust me. She had also caught me out in some big lies!  

I decided to take wife and move away and get a transfer to a branch in a place a long way away and arranged this. First I arranged to move locally and did this secretly behind bit on side's back. But she found out and realised I was trying to find ways to shake her off or at least make sure she no longer had my address! She was furious and threatened me.

I told her that I was moving away and said goodbye, very nicely, I offered to stay in touch with texts. She was horrified and very upset. I left.

Soon after various things arrived in the post to my wife and my place of work. It caused me a lot of problems with wife for a long time and at work, and my local friends would not talk to me anymore.

Beware guys.


   
ReplyQuote
(@feistysmartlady)
Estimable Member Admin
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 88
 

Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up! 

Loading spinner

Dear. Think , stop, hesitate, before any of this playfulness. It may be a joyful fun thing to do at the time, and make you feel supreme and special if they smile at you and encourage you but at what price later?  If love has gone tell the person and be honest about it, explain what is going on and how you feel and that you must end it. Sort out what to do. Not sneak around and lie and hedge your bets and stuff, this cruel and childish.


   
ReplyQuote
(@Barry)
Active Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 3
 

Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up! 

Loading spinner

when I met angela ithought she is great and so special I was walking on air and all that But after time all that fades and you get a bit board and it becomes an effort to phone and text how do you tell them its not working without hurting them.


   
ReplyQuote
(@AngelofMercy)
Active Member
Joined: 1 year ago
Posts: 5
 

Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up! 

Loading spinner

You can get love back. You can. The problems start when one has fallen out of love and lost interest and the other one tries to force them to stick with it. This happens all of the time.   What the one who is trying to force the issue forgets is that if the boot was on the other foot they would not tolerate being told they must stick with it no matter what, even if totally not interested anymore, sometimes you have to accept things even when you do not like them. Better to look back over all that has happened and figure out where it went wrong so it don't happen with next person.


   
ReplyQuote

Leave a reply

Author Name

Author Email

Title *

 
Preview 0 Revisions Saved

Advice Columnist

advice columnist

Agony Aunt Forums

Agony Aunts

You can also consult our resident professional online advice columnist

Honest Holly replies to every one of these questions herself and her one to one reply will be emailed to you very soon. Honest Holly has been healing hurting hearts as a full time professional advisor for many years. She is non judgmental, knowledgeable, tactful, wise and very experienced.

Use these free agony aunt forums to chat about stuff and feel free to use our ask agony aunt letters page if you want to give our caring readers a chance to read your agony aunt question and advise you for free but remember there is no substitute for an expert professional’s help. Submitting an ask agony aunt letter to the advice page and using a free agony aunt forum is terrific for chatting and swapping opinions but a true expert can really help.

Honest Holly specialises in supporting and advising those who are struggling with any sort of emotional issue – falling in love, dating, marriage, breaking up and much more.

Agony Aunt Forum Claire Rayner

claire rayner agony aunt

Advice Columnist Denise Robertson

advice columnist denise robertson

Advice Columnist Marjorie Proops

Advice Columnist marjorie proops

Advice Columnist Claire Rayner

advice columnist claire rayner

Advice Columnists Deidre Sanders

advice columnists deidre sanders

Advice Columnists Virginia Ironside

advice columnist virginia ironside

Advice Columnist

Agony Aunt

Claire Rayner

agony aunt claire rayner

Agony Aunt Forum

agony aunt

Agony Aunt Forums Marjorie Proops

Advice Columnist marjorie proops

Advice Columnist Claire Rayner

advice columnist claire rayner

Denise Robertson

agony aunt denise robertson

Katie Boyle

Agony Aunt katie boyle

Agony Aunt Forums Anna Raeburn

agony aunt anna raeburn

Deidre Sanders

deidre sanders

Advice Columnist Marjorie Proops

Advice Columnist

Sign In

Register

Reset Password

Please enter your username or email address, you will receive a link to create a new password via email.