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I am ashamed to say this, it is so embarrassing, and I feel guilty. My dad tried to have sex with me. And I am a male. A hot blooded male, always have been and always will be.  If he is gay that is his business but when he tried it on with me, I was thirteen, but a big kid for my age, he grabbed me and tried to force me to do things to him, you know what things I mean, it was crude, pathetic, disgusting, it would have been that if he had been a stranger but when the guy is your own father it's a thousand times worse. I got no proof of it. Police need proof so no go there. My mom is the sort who would not listen and say I lie. No joy there. I feel dirty and disgusting being related to this guy, he must be mental.  He said he sorry later but nah he just worried I tell people and his secret out. He not a nice person. Nobody like him. Mum not like him. He told me mum and him dont' do it and he need release, like this my problem. Like this mean I must do what he want. Let him ruin me and my future. I get horrible dreams and wake up at night shaking and screaming sometimes remembering this day.

Never ever did he say sorry or feel ashamed, only worried I tell people.

In a few years I will be leaving this country and emigrating, while I here everyone ask me about him and talk nice about him and think I should want to visit him,  I feel sick at the thought of it.

And no he was not on drugs or drunk that day, he knew what he doing.