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14/07/2023 9:58 am
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Ok ladies you say your marriage is dead. Please tell me - Have you spoken to him about how you feel? You shouldn’t have to settle for a terrible relationship. Can you make a change in your life, maybe start studying something or a new hobby? A reason to get up in the morning with a smile on your face. And be more in control of things? Change jobs and meet new people. If he has checked out take advantage of it. This means you don’t have to cook a fancy meal for him if all you and the kids want is chicken nuggets. You don't have to be so polite to him or cheer him up or listen to his problems. You don't have to stay in and be with him. You don't have to dress to please. Go out with the kids on the weekend doing what you want to do. Start making a life for yourself even if this is hard and it is in small steps that turn out to be a short walk. Start a ‘just in case fund’ where you save money, even if in tiny dribs and drabs he can’t access, so if you want to leave one day you can. I think people often go through periods of life where it feels like we are just going through the motions and wonder why they bother or feel sad about it. Women who are very much into their children sometimes find it easier to turn a blind eye to all this because they see their role in life as being the mother at all costs. Sometimes you just to make a few changes. There is nothing wrong with breaking up the family. Don’t spend your life with someone mediocre!
Topic starter
15/07/2023 12:42 pm
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Some marriages do not appear to be dead but are. My parents were married for many years and lived together, slept in same room and same bed, went on holidays, went out for meals and family meets, but I found out later that dad had a girlfriend he saw a lot, mum sort of knew about it, he really wanted to be with this other woman but he stayed with mum because she would say she would overdose or give him big problems and forced him to stay. He must have been very miserable and this other woman he was seeing must have been a fool or a martyr or madly in love with him to put up with all this shite.
03/08/2023 8:21 am
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Life is too short to stay with someone who does not do it for you. I know a grandmother did this. Her second husband had let her down big time, he tried it on with her twelve year old daughter, it all came out that he had assaulted her daughter (from first marriage) several times. She dumped the daughter and went off with chasing after the husband trying to force him into staying with her. Instead of helping her twelve year old daughter get over it all she chased him and wanted to be with him - to me this beggars belief and makes her a very hard and callous, selfish and short sighted woman. All she thought about was that she did not want to be single and she wanted a guy to take care of her with money etc. It did not occur to her that this guy was poison and could not be relied on. She is now in her 80s and still with him. They sleep in separate rooms, they barely speak and he is out all of the time. He only goes home to sleep or get clean shirts.
13/09/2023 9:04 am
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If a marriage or a relationship is dead stop making excuses for staying and keeping it alive, you could spend the rest of your life being unhappy or you could say I am getting out and trying to make the most of the rest of my life have another shot at being happy.
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