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Hello! I need some advice. I met this guy in a bar in Ontario and we instantly hit it off, I've had my fair share of heartbreaks so it felt amazing finally meeting someone and feeling like I'd known them my whole life. When I say this guy was genuinely my dream man I'm not exaggerating, he was everything I could want in a person and more. We went on four amazing dates, and even within a few weeks I developed very strong feelings for him and I could tell he had too. I literally felt like a love struck 15 year old again.

But (there's always a but) the morning after the last date, he started confiding in me about his ex and didn't seem to stop. I was happy to listen to him vent because it was something I had done in the past with others and understood, but then he told me he still lived in a house with said ex (with other friends also), which made sense why I'd never been to his. She was even still in his band and I wasn't really sure how to feel. He told me they broke up months ago and he'd rather die than get back with her because of how badly he was treated, but at the same time seemed to go on about her and the horrible things she did, and he also has to see her almost everyday. The next time I saw him i brought it up and voiced my concerns that I felt like he wasn't over his ex. He straight away said he felt that he was over her but wasn't over the way he was treated. He told me he felt really confused because he'd been on the best dates of his life with me and loved spending time with me and also felt we'd known eachtoher our whole lives, but it was somewhat overhsadowed by his ex.

I couldn't help but feel really bad for him because you could tell he had a lot of anger about it especailly since it was something getting in the way of pursuing something with me. So I told him it would be a good idea to spend some time apart so he could heal and get over everything. I was in his position getting out of a very emotionally abusive relationship a year ago as well so I understood the stage he was at. I suppose it felt a bit trash because he was the first person I had met that I wasn't constantly thinking about my ex and he was completely out of mind which had never happened before with anyone else, so the fact that that wasn't reciprocated hurt me slightly.

He was very reluctant about cutting contact but I insisted. It has been so difficult not speaking to him, and I don't know if we'll ever see eachother again and it's tearing me apart. But what I've been wondering is, even if I'm patient and give him the time he needs, will he ever be over his ex? will we ever be able to have a healthy relationship if we do meet again? or will he just see me as a distraction and a painkiller in his healing process? It's a horrible situation to be in because I like him so much and have never met someone like him in my life. I really just want to know if you think it could ever work or if I'm better off just trying to get over him, because if so I better start soon because it could take a while!