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Just that really sex is not the main thing. Dh left for work earlier and I'm still in bed and just burst into tears. I feel he could have stayed longer and  been with me just the two of us for a while brfore he went.I'm so alone even though I'm married. Sometimes my husband wants sex but there is no intimacy, no romance.

There's no intimacy, I sometimes try to hold his hand but I feel like he's not comfortable with me touching him. We have two under 5s and only mid 30s. This makes it hard to consider leaving him.

I just feel so sad, he would never leave because our house and the lifestyle he has is too easy for him. he's condemning me to a half life where the only fulfillment and joy comes from the little ones, and I don't want to break up the family. I fear this would hurt the little ones too much and it would hurt me too because I keep longing for the good past we had.  I don't know why it's hit me so hard this morning, I'd just love to have someone who woke up and held me for a bit.

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Suppose you are right and romance is dead, does that mean that you stop dating and mixing with guys? That seems such a shame. I go out with guys but select the ones who are romantic, there are some, not many but some, and I only need one at a time.   I prefer to meet up with a nice guy who is my type now and then than spend time with the other type, that is just me and I know a lot of women who just settle and then find they do not fall in love with the guy and it all leads to nothing - I could have told them that before it started.  If you want a long term thing that will lead to love and marriage you need a romantic guy, nothing else will do.

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Who cares if it is dead or alive? I have a swell time when I go out. Love drinking, snogging, giggling. Who needs more? Live and let live. Go for it. Find someone  you like being with and do it.

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I feel like you, and get fed up with men saying they want romance when it is not true, they really want sex, just joy, just physical. They know if they tell women this it puts them off so they lie. A guy chatted me up the other evening in a bar, he tried hard to get me to go back to his place - he was a total stranger and making it clear he wanted guaranteed sex - for all I know he could have had friends waiting there to jump on me or hurt me - I had no way of being sure of it being safe let alone fun.  You must be cautious if a female and someone says these things, they may be good looking and appear to be nice but looks and words can be deceiving.  If this guy so great how come he did not already have someone, anyways?

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I find all this talk about sex very urgh. When I was young a man would ask you out and hope that after a few dates he could give you a peck on the cheek, hold your hand or put his arm around you. Everything was slow, respectful, friendly, mutual and with a normal flow.  I recently became single again (my live in boyfriend died after years of happiness) and went onto a dating site and most of the guys who wanted to meet were trying to talk dirty at the same time. One said he wanted to come over, take me out for a drink, then come back here for the night! 

Let's look at how ridiculous that is if you have a brain.

He could have been a rapist or violent. He could have been an abductor, sex trafficker. He could have been a thief.  

Why would I allow some stranger to know my address that quickly let alone come around here?

As to the idea that he has a night of sex with me on first night, he could offer me millions of dollars and it would not happen. I am not some sort of hooker who gives herself to anyone who buys her a drink. And a drink seems pretty mean too, in my younger days a guy would take you out for a proper meal, casino, theatre etc all in the one evening.  But I suspect that the guys on the dating sites don't have good brains, jobs and incomes and cannot afford all that.

Girls - if you are young and seeking a young man to date - don't let any of these guys influence you.They are selfish and just after you know what cheap. You would be better off working on one of those sex chat lines where you get paid $20 to talk about sex for a bit instead of giving him a whole evening and night of your time and real sex and knowing your address in return for a drink. But who wants to do that? You would have to be very short of money to bother.

One thing I must say when you date an older man, a man more my age, they are sometimes more polite. Less likely to talk in that awful language of awesome, chilling, great stuff, yeah, able to put proper sentences together, and take things slower  The trick with them though is to make sure they have a job and home, and are not wanting you to be the bread winner.

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Not all men are just after sex from what you said, men in chat rooms may only be there for sex but there not representative of all men just a proportion. I would think it not particularrily safe for a women to meet a man from a chat room. I prefer to meet women in pubs and clubs and if you get on can arrange to meet again.

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Clearly looking for a guy on dating apps isn't working for you I have to wonder why you don't get together with a few mates and go out socially together there  is saftey in numbers going out together and you may meet a nice man who dosen't just want to jump on you

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I think over the years peoples expectations of romance have changed, the men who want /expect to have sex on the first meet are not interested in you as a person but more as an object. If you want to have romance find someone who is interested in you as a person.