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I hope you can help. I have been happily married for years to my beautiful wife. We have two adorable children. My concern is regarding my wife’s recent and unhealthy relationship with gin. Most nights now, as I lovingly prepare our evening meal, she will indulge in a glass of orange flavoured gin and tonic. What started as a single, small glass of ‘special occasion gin’ has, over the course of this year, become two or three glasses of whatever supermarket own brand liquor she can get her hands on. What results is often a barrage of complaints and demands about . Do I enjoy a drink? Yes, of course. But there is a world of difference between savouring a fine glass of red during the preparation and enjoyment of a meal with the accompaniment of a Radio 4 comedy (such as the delightful Ed Reardon’s Week) and simply drinking to pass the time. I worry, for our children as much as for myself, that my wife will succumb to ‘mother’s ruin’ and become like many of the mums on our street, whose whole personality is ‘It’s Gin o’clock’ and wouldn’t know their from their Dahls from their Dostoyevskys if they met them at the Wye Festival! I simply can’t bear them. Please help. I just don’t know what to do.
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@sutts5151 Is your wife suffering stress or trauma? (Hypericum or a Homeopath) Does she need a part time job? (lots of home biz online/you tube) Alcohol is an anti nutrient that destroys the B complex vitamins (this creates stress, thin lips & bad moods) it destroys magnesium too (lowers body temperature, triggers bad moods, cramps & constipation & makes liver problems too) Supplements that help ease addiction include NAC, raw honey in filtered water & hemp with sunflower seeds. Also 12x1 Biochemic Tissue Salts & 1000mg Kelp tablets. A good multi vitamin always helps (deer velvet or moringa etc.) Raise her frequency with 432 Hz & the golden ratio on you tube. Tai Chi with Zidong online is awesome All the best!
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She's clearly having issues here, my friend. Some women find it hard to express themselves and reach for the bottle instead. That said, if the drinking stops the nagging, then let her have the bottle of gin and a straw. It might seem like an issue but, trust me, you'd be better off with a sozzled wife than an opinionated one who thinks she can and must comment (negatively) about everything you do and say, even if you give her space and go out with the lads for a couple of nights in a row. Some people just can'y be pleased
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OK, so have you discussed her drinking habits with her directly?
She may be using the gin to relax or unwind from the day or perhaps she is suffering with stress or anxiety from work or her day in general. She may even have a health condition that she is scared of telling you about so drinks to make herself feel better.
I understand your concern for your wife and this new habit she has adopted.
It is time to have a heart-to-heart conversation and explain how worried you are for her and her health. Don´t approach the conversation with any judgement. Be super curious about what is going on for her. Time for some listening.
Be there for her, tell her how much you love her and how concerned you are.
Most of all don´t be judgemental, this is a time for showing compassion
Wishing you well
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I suspect your wife may be bored. If you’ve been married for years perhaps your children are now independent and she’s feeling a void. Perhaps you and she need to reconnect and recharge. Arrange quality time with friends and family, romantic weekends together or a longer holiday, regular outings in your local region to take in or revisit nature or culture. Can you do something together to keep fit both physically and mentally - walking or swimming, book club, films or trivia? Find something else to do at that time of day when she reaches for a glass. Change your routines and habits to replace the excessive drinking with healthier options. I know no one who has regretted cutting down or cutting out drinking. It improves health, sleep, skin, weight and mind to reduce or eliminate alcohol most of the time. But alcohol has usually taken up space and time where there is loneliness, dissatisfaction or sadness. It becomes a crutch along with the meaningless shenanigans you describe. Don’t overwhelm your wife with a new regime but gradually increase regular activities to achieve more and more alcohol free time. Above all don’t judge or disapprove if she continues to drink. It maybe that professional support is required if you cannot divert her interests.
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