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Am I too old for my husband?

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I have been married to my husband for approaching ten years and I love him as much as when we first met. My problem is that he is considerably younger than me and I worry constantly about the generational gap between us and our divergent interests. To be honest, it probably stems from our wildly different upbringings: he grew up in the metropolitan fringes of East London whereas I was born and raised in a concrete jungle in Colchester.  I know it’s just superficial and I’m worrying too much, l but even our Spotify Wrapped showed our glaring cultural differences. Mine was Kylie for the 12th year in a row with a smattering of Eurovision. So gay, so predictable.  His was full of way cooler, niche punk and alternative bands and artists I’d never even heard of. He can even play along to most of these on his electric and acoustic guitar.  Our other interests diverge too: my love of reality TV seems so basic and ‘mid’ compared to his love of professional wrestling.  Although I gently mock his love of wrestling, I secretly envy how he has found a passion beyond the mainstream. Even my derision of how much time he spends watching wrestling or listening to wrestling themed podcasts is purely hollow. Of course I love being married to someone younger, with so much vim and vigour, who never baulks at a late night or a midweek session, but I fear there will come a day when I just can’t keep up. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. 

CathyForever 12/11/2024 9:41 pm

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@flounceharve you clearly sound like an intelligent, caring person. Anxiety is a constant alarm in our lives, there is no right or wrong answer here. What I can advise you from what you shared, is to firstly stop overthinking of these fears you stated. Fear cannot solve anything but increase your anxiety. When you are in a calm and happy, suggest to your partner to have a quiet relaxing supper at home or in a favourite restaurant. When you are then together, express to him your thoughts, how you are feeling without sounding over anxious, just be honest of your fears, and allow him to respond in his own way. No pressure triggers just let him share his thoughts.

You may see all of these fears are nothing and you have been worried over nothing. But whatever happens, it is always best to be honest as much as you can and communicate than suffer in silence.

Even if things turn out negatively, don't worry, you are far better off to being independent and strong than with the wrong person.

Hope this help.s

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Afraid to say you probably are, mate. Or should I call you grandad? You sound like a lovely old chap, but I think you'd better of putting your slippers on and letting this young love of your life run free and live his life of late nights and partying. You've had a good run and I'm sure you could find someone closer to your own age. Look on the internet for seniors meet ups in your local area.  There's probably one for older gays too where you can speak to likeminded people about the good old days in the 80s.   

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Enjoy it while it lasts. Don't worry about the future. All that worrying and fretting is what ruins things. Before you know it it is gnawing away at you and damaging how things are. You might ask him for promises or some form of love to be more secure and he gets fed up with it. Women do it a lot, and I am sure gay men do it too, especially when there is an age gap or some other big thing that is niggling at him. The more you let this niggle at you and the more you behave or show it to him the more likely he is to lose interest. He wants to be with a happy go lucky person who is great to be with. Be that and you will have him forever... best agony aunt online.

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