02/12/2023 5:06 pm
Topic starter
Notifications
Clear all
0
Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up!
I’ve got quite an embarrassing problem which I hope you can help me with. I’ve been happily married to my husband for nearly ten years. He’s a wonderful husband, father to our children and geography teacher. Now, I know he loves us, and this is the embarrassing part, but, I think he may love maps more than he loves me. Of course, I understand maps are a huge part of his professional life but in recent years his obsession with them has gotten out of hand. On our anniversary he bought me a map of the place we first met. (Norfolk? Seriously?). When we go on holiday it’s us, the kids and his bloody Ordnance Surveys! He pours over them for hours every evening, caressing their fault lines and wittering on about scaling or something. To be honest, I don’t care. What I do care about is the hole he seems to have dug himself into with this relentless search for maps of different countries, old maps, new maps three bags fucking full maps! I wish, once in a while, he’d colour me in with his big, sharp pencil. I joke, but I'm scared to bring it up with him as I worry that if I tell him it's me or the maps, he’ll choose those damn maps. Please help. I just don’t know what to do to help save our marriage. Thank you so much.
2 Answers
0
11/12/2023 3:19 pm
Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up!
I really think you need to pull yourself togtehr love. Maps are the greatest use of paper since man first squished some papyrus together and and began embelishing it with ink. Can you not find space in your heart and, if needs be, your marriage for a simple love of maps? Stop thinking about yourself in all this. I'm sure whatever female interests you may have (needlework, knitting, sewing, etc) could overlap with his. How about sewing a map for him? How about making a blanket to keep him warm as he peruses his maps every night? Just be a bit creative and you'll be able to keep your man.
0
13/05/2024 2:58 pm
Like the next comment? Give it the thumbs up!
I hear you. It seems as if your husband really loves his work and specifically his maps.
Was it always this way, and if not, can you consider speaking with him about his obsession? And if yes, what has occurred for you to become less tolerant of his interest in maps?
Have you spoken to him about how his obsession means little or no quality time with you and your children and the distance that this is creating in your relationship?
I think a calm, but frank conversation needs to happen for things to change.
He is clearly oblivious to how you feel, and mind-reading doesn´t seem to be his strong point.
It is time to make him see how his passion for maps is slowly but surely damaging your relationship.
Wishing you well with your conversation
Advice Columnist
Agony Aunt Forums
You can also consult our resident professional online advice columnist
Honest Holly replies to every one of these questions herself and her one to one reply will be emailed to you very soon. Honest Holly has been healing hurting hearts as a full time professional advisor for many years. She is non judgmental, knowledgeable, tactful, wise and very experienced.
Use these free agony aunt forums to chat about stuff and feel free to use our ask agony aunt letters page if you want to give our caring readers a chance to read your agony aunt question and advise you for free but remember there is no substitute for an expert professional’s help. Submitting an ask agony aunt letter to the advice page and using a free agony aunt forum is terrific for chatting and swapping opinions but a true expert can really help.
Honest Holly specialises in supporting and advising those who are struggling with any sort of emotional issue – falling in love, dating, marriage, breaking up and much more.
Agony Aunt Forum Claire Rayner
Advice Columnist Denise Robertson
Advice Columnist Marjorie Proops
Advice Columnist Claire Rayner
Advice Columnists Deidre Sanders
Advice Columnists Virginia Ironside
Advice Columnist
Claire Rayner
Agony Aunt Forum
Agony Aunt Forums Marjorie Proops
Advice Columnist Claire Rayner
Denise Robertson
Katie Boyle
Agony Aunt Forums Anna Raeburn
Deidre Sanders
Advice Columnist Marjorie Proops
